No Eight Arms to Hold You

Sadly, Zachary Schomburg posts that due to high combustion, his girders have snapped, and Octopus Magazine will remain offline and unavailable until Feb. 1.

Meantime, you can score a fix—as long as you don't type "TienAnMien" or "human rights" or this—here.

Or you can just listen to the coming Speech from the Throne, I mean the State of the Union Address. And wait.