01 July 2007

I Shouldn't Have, but I Did II

Smoke. Yeah. Not with contrivance—I wasn't thinking I'd just smoke one, I didn't measure and decide to become a smoker again.

I did it because I wanted to. To be bad.

So it happend. It happened, happened, and coiled. I bought cigarettes in odd shops. I stopped going out. Meantime, I've sat, and apart from the shame and embarrassment, I feel and have felt crap: headaches, bodyaches, shit breath, and reclusion. Also, technically, lying—although addicts always lie, it's what we do, so that's the least fussy part o absolve myself of. Like sneezing.

It's been a fortnight in hell.

I'm coming up for air.

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3 RIDERS:

At 02 July, 2007 14:31, Blogger DUSIE said...

O you! poor dear! you must have been raised catholic...you are at least on that feeling radar...

but, alas--you can quit again...

 
At 03 July, 2007 11:38, Blogger CLAY BANES said...

john's my saints name

 
At 11 July, 2007 23:23, Blogger Maryrose Larkin said...

Dang, I hope you can either smoke and enjoy it or quit again. the problem with quitting quitting for me was that the thrill of oblivious was gone gone gone.

 

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Iga Wyrwal
Iga Wyrwal
YOU'RE ON NOTICE!
Why begrudge me a little fun. And must you chew gum.
Iga Wyrwal
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